Things NOT to ask on Date #1: Are you a virgin?
Online dating is a hit-or-miss. The testimonials provided by the likes of eHarmony, Lavalife, Match.com, etc. are really like miniature Harlequin romance novels – just something to fuel our fantasies. The truth is, for most, online dating is a treacherous journey. However, I know of a few people who have met their significant others online and who are now headed down the rose-petal covered runner to the altar. A friend, who’s recently coupled up with someone he met online, asserts that the success rate of online dating is 10%, and that’s just for a second date. That means you have to go on 10 dates – with creepers, weirdos, and crazies – to find someone you have enough chemistry with to want to go on a 2nd date. That’s pretty discouraging! Nevertheless, love just doesn’t come along and knock your door (well, it hasn’t knocked on my door yet, despite the horseshoe and the mistletoe that’s hanging in the doorway.) In any case, I digress.
I had first tried online dating in 2006. Since then, I’ve periodically removed and re-instated my profiles on eHarmony, Lavalife, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, etc. Though I usually start out with a fresh new profile and a burst of enthusiasm, it decreases exponentially to ~0 within few weeks. However, I’m not getting younger, and, I figured if I stick to the online dating thing, I will eventually get lucky. Figuratively speaking, of course 
I’ve recently revived my intent to explore the men of the online world. My latest profile is on PoF. Shortly after posting, I start chatting up with this guy – we shall call him Barry. Barry seems nice enough on paper and in pictures; at the very least, he can capitalize, the sentence structure is grammatically correct, and he punctuates – SCORE, Right? After exchanging several e-mails, we decide to meet for a drink. I get decked out and journey to the rendez-vous spot. As always, I’m right on time! He, on the other hand, is late – by 5 mins. I’m never late on a date (okay, there was this one time – but that’s a story for another post).
So, Barry shows up late but we hit it off fairly smoothly. The conversation is flowing well until our discussion turn to other people we’ve met online. And that’s where it all goes south:
Barry starts to describe in great details the other women he met online. In particular, there was this one girl, with whom he hit it off really well on Date 1. So well, in fact, Date 2 was planned. So, on date 2, during a walk, the lady in question (Chrissy, perhaps) turns to Barry and says: “Barry, I’m a straight shooting girl. I like you, but if we are to continue to see each other, I’m going to ask you to get a full STI exam before I can see you.” Barry was taken aback. He starts explaining that A) usually, this kind of conversation shouldn’t come up on Date 2. B) In the initial stages, the couples can avail to other forms of protection. It is really when you are in a relationship that a question such as STI test and birth control should really arise.
So, I’m sitting there, listening to Barry, and honestly acquiescing. Quite honestly, this chick sounds slightly wacko. I’m nodding my head as we discuss that people ‘our age’, should be well versed in talking about sex-related issues. Then, Barry pauses, looks at me and says: “What do you think of this whole situation. I assume you have had sex…?”
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Slightly taken aback, I manage to crack a joke (a bad one). Feeling at once creeped out and thoroughly entertained, the date concludes shortly thereafter.
Needless to say, Date #2 didn’t happen.
So, if you wondered how to indirectly ask someone if they’re a virgin, wonder no more.
July 24th, 2009 - 22:15
In an attempt to minimize time waste with online dating, I quickly set a one email rule — meet in a public place after one email, rather than wasting time with email/msn foreplay. Emails take time, and generally led to me having a complete picture of the person before we met — which was completely different from how they actually were. Instead, save yourself some time: let him buy you a coffee at Starbies, and within 5 minutes you’ll know if there’s chemistry or not.
July 27th, 2009 - 03:39
Dating…I vaguely remember that, I think I even went on one once, though it was a little alien to me. If what you find on some of the other “dating” sites, such as Red Hot Pie and Adult Matchmaker, can be considered “dates”, you’d be horrified at the level of social inadequacies that the majority of these people possess, even compared to the regular dating sites.
I agree with both of you to some degree, if they can structure a sentence and understand that punctuation wasn’t just invented for “them ppl that reed books”, are brave enough to show you their face (and not just a photo taken with a mobile phone down the front of their pants), then humanity can be established.
For me as soon as you see their eyes you can tell what they’re like, and within the first five minutes of meeting them you can tell who they are. But for us guys it shouldn’t matter, should it? After all, we’re just after a hot chick with a pulse to get up the skirt of!
Let me just mention that the horror stories do go both ways, and though they are a small percentage, there are some women on these sites that should only be approached with a cattle prod.
Things NOT to ask on a Date #2*: “Do I have any heroin in my teeth?”
*actually this one is probably #5 on my list, but the censors won’t yet allow me to print the others on this forum, and probably for good reason.