The douchebag report: Part III – Neil’s deal
It would be inappropriate for me to wrap up the Douchebag Report without telling you what happened to Neil. Well, I gave Neil his review – albeit, I did it over the phone, not via e-mail. Rest assured though, I went over every point with him. In fact, he even took notes! (At least that’s what *he* said).
Not surprisingly, I gave him an overall grade of D: This is not going to work, in bed or out. Goodbye! But, the boy did have some good qualities:
His major strengths were:
- Especially attentive; really makes his intentions clear. Definitely expresses interest and continually shows it.
- Good looking in the traditional sense.
- Very punctual and consciously so; this is much appreciated.
His major weaknesses were:
- You need to understand how your actions are perceived by other people; your young age really shines through in this area, and given your chosen career parth, you are likely to make more enemies than friends with your current behavior
- Overly flirtatious; you flirt with anyone and anything no matter age or sex. There is no subtlety to your flirtations and this is very unattractive and badly perceived by others.
- Exaggeration: you exaggerate and sweat over the small stuff and act like arrogant as if others should know or care about it. In fact, because these things are very insignificant for people other than you or those in your immediate circle of friends, your arrogance is in vain and is often taken for false pretentiousness.
Obviously, Neil was somewhat upset but the things I was saying; he didn’t see it coming. When he started justifying his behavior, talking about how he was really a manwhore (Really? Good to know!) since his last relationship went belly up, I suggested that he take some time off from dating/sleeping around and really reconsider him path of self-destruction. Then, I hit him with a really good line, adapted from something a great friend once said to me: without pain, there can be no change (accentuating that post break-up, one really need to take the time off and feel some pain.)
Not surprisingly, no one had ever really given him feedback like mine, but that’s expected. We, as humans, just don’t like discussing others’ negative characteristics in an upfront manner. Instead, we do this behind their backs.
To conclude, next time you’re breaking up with someone, don’t use clichéd, vague, and ambiguous lines like: “It’s not you, it’s me”; or “I’m just not looking for anything serious right now”. Man up, and tell that person exactly what you’re thinking (but, be nice about it!). Chances are, they will appreciate it more than you will ever know!