How to be single The experiential dating advice blog

Let’s play a love game

Who was it again that said that guys don’t play games? It’s irrelevant at this point, since that individual was uninformed. Boys/Guys/Men play games as well. Not only have I observed this myself, but it was explicitly stated to me by numerous male friends.

Admittedly though, we play different games. (If you’ve never read the book Love Bites, by it’s Happy Bunny, I highly recommend it. It has a great chapter on Games.)

Games girls play

Let’s examine the following scenario:

Girl: “Why don’t you come over and watch movie with me?”

Boy: “I am tired and want to go to bed.”

What she’s thinking: Hmm, he doesn’t want to come over. Maybe he’s angry with me. Or, maybe he’s lying. He’s probably cheating on me. Or, he’s playing poker with the guys, or hitting up the clubs. Maybe he’s lost interest in me. What if I’m not pretty anymore? Etc.

What the guy is thinking: I’m tired. I’m going to bed.

As the result of the female neurotic processes the girl will now attempt to telepathically figure out what the guy is “really” thinking. Once she feels she’s done, she’ll determine some sort of punishment for the guy, and will consequently attempt to inform him of it, telepathically.  Poor schmuck!

I have been guilty of such behavior, though perhaps not as coo-coo. A while back, I was “seeing” a guy, and after talking with him – either via phone or e-mail, on a daily or bi-daily basis for a few months, he didn’t call me or communicate with me for a week. So, I figured he was mad at me for some reason, and did something he later termed as inappropriate. It also turns out that he hadn’t called because he had been busy.

Girls’ psycho behavior makes guys put the following warnings on their online profile:

“Ciao! Firstly, save the drama for your mama...”

“SO IF YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES SORRY BUT F**K OFF” [sic]

“im not into head games” [sic]

To be honest, this turns me off. Since I know that guys play games as well (perfect lead in to the next section, don’t you think?)

Games guys play

By far the most popular game they play is the Asshole game. What is this? Since guys are not telepathic – and have never claimed to be – they respond to girls’ games by generally behaving like assholes (i.e. not calling back, displaying un-gentleman-like behavior, etc.) because they just can’t figure the girls out. This is simply an adaptive response to girls’ unreasonableness. For ages, men have tried to figure out why women are so nuts, and figured out that the best way to address it is to act like a total asshole because that’s what we expect of them anyways. And some girls even like it! (as crazy as it sounds.)

So generally, if a girl is to question out loud: “Why are you such an asshole?” Guy responds: “Because that’s how assholes act.”

It’s an infinite loop. The only way to stop this insane behavior by the genders is COMMUNICATION (e.g. discuss expectations for your relationships.) If you need a lesson on communication, I can lend you my textbook from Sexual Behavior course from university. It has EXCELLENT advice.

In the end, I reiterate that men’s game is really a response to girls’ behavior. The only way figure guys out, is to take their words at face value.