SPECIAL ADDENDUM to A picture is worth < 1000 words…: the replies
This is an addendum to the 3-part series: the replies. I’ve only kept record of few of the replies I got, but they are the good ones. Here they are, alongside my (mostly snarky) replies.
(from a dude who was 54 and in a relationship)
A poem girl from Ottawa
So sexy and so fair
Would you love to be stimulated orally
By a sensuous man with no hair
Bald guys are people too
They make their skills soooo divine
Seeking a maiden for intimacy
Someone special someone fine
I love to please and kiss so soft
I love to satisfy my lover
I am attached but seeking pleasure
To give to someone other…
My snarky reply:
Though with your reply you do thoroughly impress,
Your proposition lacks in value, honestly I confess.
You seem like a nice chap,
But between us there is an age gap;
However, with others girls, I wish you much success.
Others, who either didn’t bother to read my profile or least compose a grammatically-correct response, received the following:
Quite honestly, as your inquest might imply,
To impress me, you couldn't be bothered to try.
If you've read my profile,
You will find it worthwhile;
To put some thought into you reply.
The best reply I received came from a guy who is an English teacher. However, I had to coerce the reply out of him, since originally, he claimed that he couldn’t come up with anything half as original as my profile. But, when I saw that creative writing was one of his interests, I told him I wasn’t buying. My criticism produced the following reply:
You're very demanding!
Alright, here goes *Ahem*...
A young knight of valorous fame,
From the lair of a great dragon came.
His armour once white,
Now charred from his fight,
But his head still attached through the flames.
He had walked paths of shadow and fire,
Emerging unscathed, though quite tired.
Settling down did he seek,
A fair woman to speak,
With assets which he could admire.
He strode into a bar in some town,
A young maiden 'cross the room stared him down.
She had fiery hair,
And, oh, quite the pair…
Of glimm'ring green orbs 'neath her crown.
"Good evening, my lady," he said,
And beside her placed the dragon's great head.
Curling her lip, she eyed,
The beast's ugly, scaled hide,
"Oh, don't worry," he said, "it's quite dead."
She didn't doubt that such was the case,
But the grimace remained 'cross her face.
"A rose would have sufficed,
For a rather nice tryst,"
And the knight appeared rather disgraced.
He swept the head away with a shrug,
Producing instead a great mug.
"A drink then?" he asked,
Handing the lady a flask,
And soon they both lay upon the rug.
(Unfortunately, things didn’t go anywhere with this chap.)