The man with the magic touch
Shortly after my renewed interest in dating, I had messages from many-a-willing suitors. 4 to be exact! I was ecstatic at the opportunity of bad dates ahead. Truth be told – dating has become like a 2nd job to me – its goal being to entertain you, dear readers. This is probably the wrong mindset, but whatever. I can do whatever I want.
So, I did… and scheduled 4 dates, over a period of 3 days (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.) In fact, I was so enthused at this opportunity for dating debauchery, that I initially decided I was going to star in my own mini-Bachelorette, whereby I’d present my men with roses to denote my affection/selection for/of them, and gradually eliminate them one-by-one, on a date-by-date basis. The idea was FLAWLESS. Though some critics questioned as to how I was going to pull-off the “Rose Ceremony”, the answer was clear to me. You see, PoF allows users to give “electronic roses.” Genius, right?! Right…
So, my first date – Bachelor # 1 – had some deal breakers: a) he was short (1/2 an inch shorter than I; and b) he was older: 36. Since I typically date older man (10 years out), I wasn’t too fixated on his age. However, the height – or lack thereof – was a lurking concern. Alas, one of my best friends cajoled me with: “give the short ones a chance.”
For our date, we arranged to rendezvous at a local coffee shop, on a Friday night. I was deliberately late (for the date, not with my period). If you can remember, it’s a huge pet peeve of mine when a guy is late. Well, considering none of my dates had ever showed up on time, I decided to rebel and be late myself. Mind you, I was only late by 10 min, AND I messaged him to let him know. I’m clearly a very courteous belated person.
It turns out that Bachelor # 1 was a true gentleman – and graciously forgave my tardiness, so we enjoyed a nice conversation over the next 50 min. He even paid for ½ my drink! (Sarcasm) But, not only was Bachelor # 1 a gentleman – he was also a masseur – I found this out as he accosted me with a surprise hand massage right there, in the middle of the coffee shop. He wasn’t a full-time masseuse… it was just something he did in spare time. In any case, I was only mildly uncomfortable; he did show me his business card before I let him touch me (though didn’t let me keep it….hmmm…).
Fast forward to the end of the date when I decided that Bachelor # 1 was pleasant enough to keep around; at least for another round. So, after the 3 other dates that week-end, I have him a “rose”. He was quite tickled by the whole thing. Unfortunately for him, I had a sudden moral attack and decided that it would be quite mean to string this fella along for the sake of “The Bachelorette” idea. So, I e-mailed him to say that – even though I had a nice time at coffee – I ultimately didn’t feel that I could offer him anything beyond a friendship. I also stated that height and age were factors in my decision making.
In my opinion, I did quite an honourable thing, but his reply didn’t convey that:
“I understand, although you are missing out on the most magical touch of your life. Regardless I was going to reschedule anyways, since I met someone last week who wants to see me again for dinner that night.”
Though very saddened (NOT) that an opportunity for free massages from the man with the magic touch had suddenly evaporated, I felt good about my decision. In fact, I was REALLY tempted to respond sarcastically and wish him all the luck… but I held back. I’ll get my kicks elsewhere.