… Part 3 of 3: “Sucks to be you”
Sucks to be me? WTF?!
Let’s collectively explore the following scenario: pretend that you’re a guy, and you’re been on a date with a girl 4-5 times, but nothing major has happened. The most you’ve done is kissed… once. You’re talking to her one day via SMS, and you find out that she’s sick, what’s your instinctive response?
Answer: _____________________________ (100 points)
When I surveyed (many) friends, the answers were fairly unanimous, ranging from verbal well-wishing (“Awww, that’s too bad. Feel better soon.”), to some sort of outward gesture of caring (i.e. offers to bring soup over.) NOT ONCE…in my informal data collection did anyone say: “I would say to her: ‘sucks to be you.’”… which is what I got from Darryl.
That statement – of which I was on the receiving end – is further exacerbated by the fact that when he was sick just a few days before, I did offer my sympathies as per societal expectations. In the end, it was just this sucky and tactless remark that did Darryl in. Once I got the “sucks to be you”, I bluntly retored: “Well, that’s rude,” then launched into a detailed list of his deficiencies leading up to the inevitable “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
However, that remark was only the final nail on the proverbial coffin. Here are some other things that Darryl did that helped prematurely (or perhaps postmaturely) end our relationship; acts that I urge both boys and girls to abstain from:
A kiss is a kiss is a kiss
… unless of course, you think it’s not. Modern society prevalently paints women as the more clingy of the sexes. But, I assure you, men can be overzealous too. At this point, I want to admit to all that I DID IT. I kissed Darryl. Once. Why? Because I wasn’t sure if we had any chemistry between us, so I wanted to see if there was a spark once our lips met. This was clearly a mistake, because ensuing conversations – which were mostly of me telling Darryl that I really only want to be friends – were met with the following question: “then why did you kiss me?”
Did I miss something here? Has there been some sort of major societal reform since the last time I had kissed a man (July 2010)? Does kissing a guy now mean that I am committing to having babies with him? I didn’t think so….
White picket fence dreams
As the name implies, it is usually the women usually make plans for the happily-ever-after (i.e. a hubby, 2 ½ kids, a dog… middle to upper-class living, etc.) Men…make plans for their fantasy football leagues. The vice versa, doesn’t happen. Or does it? Apparently so!
During one of our initial dates, I had told Darryl that I was planning on going back to school in 2 years (2012). He was cool with that… ‘cause he himself was very career minded, and wanted the same in his partner. Keep in mind here, that before the below-mentioned conversation took place, I was fresh from telling Darryl that what I wanted most was to be friends and nothing else (at least not now). Can you imagine my surprise, when the following wordy exchange took place early, one Sunday morning, as he messaged me to cancel our breakfast date, because he was sick?
Darryl: “It’s too bad that I have to cancel; I was really looking forward to seeing you.”
Me: “Oh, well… I’m not going anywhere. At least not for 2 years!” (Jokingly, referring to the fact that I’m probably going to go away for school after 2 years)
Darryl: “Oh, where are you going?”
Me: “Right now? On my way downtown to retrieve my car. I left it there last night because I had been drinking.” (I obviously understood what he meant by ‘right now’, and chose to play the dumb card.)
Darryl: “No silly. Where are you going in 2 years?”
Me: “School. Remember?”
Darryl: “Oh right. I wish I could come with you. Maybe I can come visit you..."
In case you’re wondering, yes… he was actually expressing his wish to come with me, when I went back to school 2 years from now. Failing that, he did really want to come visit... in 2 years... when I was back in school. Maybe I'm just getting my knickers in a knot, but when that exchange took place, I chose to run the other way (thought, at that point, only figuratively.)
In hindsight, I could’ve predicted that Mr. Texty-Text was a clinger. After all, during the 100 questions, he did mention a one-night stand he’d had, and along with it his righteous disappointment that she had never called him back. At that time, I was too “reserved” to point out that “isn’t that the whole point of one night stands?” Not that I would know anything about that…
And so, my time with Bachelor #4 was certainly the most memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. This experience also left me quite discouraged about dating, and so I hadn’t gone on a date since then.
I will let Randi take over the blog for the next little while, and I assure you that she’ll keep you more than entertained.