Bobbing for Adam’s Apple in the Big Apple – Part I
This blog post is all about my shenanigans whilst on a weekend trip to the greatest city in the world: New York City (or as it’s colloquially known, the Big Apple. Hence the title). There are a few background facts you’ll want to know in order to adequately follow along:
First, if this post were a movie, it’d be rated PG-13.
Second, my New York City trip is an annual work event. For my job, I manage an internship program, and so every year in August, my interns (hereafter interchangeable referred to as ‘my students’ or ‘my colleagues’ or even ‘my friends’) head to New York for a conference. The conference itself is just north of the city, and takes place Sun-Tue. So, in order to enjoy a bit of the city, we fly down freakishly early on a Friday morning, and spend 2 full days gallivanting about the city. This year my 4th time in NYC, so I’ve done most of the touristy stuff; the only thing left to do, is GTFO of tourist traps and see how New Yorkers actually live.
Third, my colleagues all know about this blog and think it’s the most hilarious thing ever. At least that’s what they tell me. I’m egotistical enough to believe it. As an aside, I have this personal rule “never dip your pen into the company ink” (a.k.a. don’t date someone you work with) and I think I'll be sticking to it.
Still following? Good...
The trip to New York is the most exciting event of my summer because I absolutely love exploring the city. It’s so different from Ottawa, and I thrive on the excitement and adventure that NYC has to offer, 24/7. In prepping for this year’s trip, I was having beers with my dear friend R on the eve of departure (Thursday), abound with enthusiasm for my trip the next day. During our conversation, I might have said something along the lines “I’m going to get into so much trouble” with a mischevious sparkle in my eye. To clarify, by “getting trouble” I meant macking on some dude(s) at a club. However , R, being a guy, and a fellow online dater, immediately asked me if I was going to create a Plenty of Fish (PoF) profile for New York. I was astounded by – what at that time – seemed an absurd suggestion. I hadn’t considered that as a means to “macking”, and quite honestly thought that suggestion was ridiculous, and also dangerous. But, I knew that his suggestion wasn’t unusual as I’ve previously seen similar profiles on PoF and other sites. Even so, I disregarded R’s suggestions. For the time being. (Dundundun!)
So, freakishly early on Friday (I’m talking 4:30am here people!) I’m at the airport with my colleagues, waiting for our boarding announcement and discussing plans for New York. I cautiously tell them of R’s CRAZY suggestion. Ha! Well, they didn’t think it was so crazy at all. In fact, they thought it was a pretty good idea and one student actually said that she’d go on a double-date with me (even though she had a boyfriend).
Their enthusiasm and support really revved me, and I soon learned that I’m very easily peer-pressured into doing ridiculous things at unreasonable hours of the day. Within 5 minutes, I had a Dating profile up on PoF. My tagline was “Looking for some fun in NYC!” (Oh yes I did!) My profile read:
“Hi - I'm visiting NYC this week-end and thought that it's a great idea to discover the city by meeting new people! So, if you want to show me around and have some fun in the meanwhile, send me a message!
I am super fun to hang out with, outgoing and spontaneous.”
Then we boarded our flight for New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
Upon deplaning, my phone was already abuzz with all the messages coming in from New York men, all eager to meet me and show me about the city. I was PUMPED! Excitement soon turned to panic, as I became inundated with responses. I quickly realized that I'm gonna need a strategy for deciding whom to meet, and whom to weed (out). Luckily, this problem was soon solved, when one of my other students declared:
“Here is what you have to do… for the blog, of course. You need to go on 2 dates with 2 guys today. Then, eliminate 1 guy, and go on a 2nd date with the ‘winner’ tomorrow.”
MISSION ACCEPTED.