Bobbing for Adam’s Apple in the Big Apple – Part III
I awoke on Saturday morning shortly after 12. Sleeping in is a luxury I don’t often indulge in. But, given that I didn’t get to sleep until 5 am, I felt that I was entitled to it. Plus, what did I really have to do today? Go on a second date with Adam?! Easy peasy lemon squeezy. And as it turns out, it really was! At least, getting that 2nd date.
Upon awakening, I had several text messages requiring my attention: one was from my colleagues inviting me to dinner that night at Nobu, a Japanese-style restaurant in Tribeca co-owned by Robert De Niro. Another was… from Adam. Adam had made good on his promise and texted me a link to the lecture he’d mentioned in our conversation on Friday. Seeing this as my ‘in’ for Date #2, I texted back:
“Thanks muchly! What are your plans for today?”
Adam reply was swift: “[...] nothing spontaneous, but we can plan something if you are up for it.”
YES! (See what I mean? Easy!) And so I replied that I’d be up for checking out the chocolate store he had recommended. In response to which, Adam texted:
“OK then, how about maybe pool game… Best Long Island Iced Tea… and yummy chocolates to top it off?”
How can a girl say ‘no’ to such marvelous proposal? I replied, requesting details of the meeting time and place, stating that I needed a couple of hours to get some stuff done, and mentioning also that I had dinner reservations at 8, but that we could kill the afternoon with his plans. Adam replied with the address of the venue, and suggested we meet at 2:30. I agreed.
(This next little bit may seem to be irrelevant to the story, but I assure you, it is not.) Before meeting up with him, I had to accomplish 3 things: get breakfast, go to Macy’s and Victoria’s Secret. Let’s face it, if you’re a girl visiting New York, you can drop a pretty penny on clothes, so I – exercising an unusual amount of self-restraint – decided to limit myself to only those 2 stores. After perusing the sales racks of Macy’s, I came away with a GORGEOUS black, silk, one-shoulder dress. I almost wolf whistled at myself in the dressing room when I tried it on. The dress screamed SEXY and at 65% off, I couldn’t resist. I then had similar luck at VS, but that’s not crucial to the story.
With 2:30 coming up on the clock, and with my purchases in hand, I hopped on the subways and headed to our rendez-vous location in Soho. Shamefully, I have to admit that I was astronomically late by 30 minutes because of my subpar subway navigation skills. I texted Adam to update him on my misfortunes, and he proved to be understanding. When I finally got there, Adam quickly supplied me with what he claimed to be the best Long Island Iced Tea, and we commenced a game of pool.
Once again, the chemistry we had discovered the night before resurfaced quickly. It was so easy to talk to this guy. He had told me about his adventures of the previous night, which entailed keeping company to a friend who had recently become de-engaged. I told him about my night… In fact, feeling completely at ease, and wanting to be honest, spontaneous, and adventurous, I actually told Adam about the whole mission, including my date with Tony the night before. I also told him about this blog. He asked me a bunch of questions about it, mostly about the motivation behind my writing. To that, I simply stated that it’s a creative outlet and a means to practice the art, and that my hope one day is to write a book.
We chatted some more, about his life and about mine. Proud of my earlier conquest at Macy’s, I also showed him the dress I had purchased. He was impressed, though stated that he’d have to see it on me, to get a better impression.
There were 2 questions that Adam asked me during our pool date that were way out of context. He asked:
- If you had to choose, would you choose Hawaii or Bora Bora? (rationale for this question wasn’t provided; I picked Bora Bora simply because my sister had worked there.)
- Are you a good actress?
That last one really threw me off. My brain went into overdrive trying to figure out why the heck he was asking me this. So, I answered: “I’m OK, I guess…” mentally alluding to the fact that I had partaken in some drama classes/clubs in high school, though I placed myself squarely into C-movie actress category, with a penchant for crying roles. When I questioned him about why he had asked me, he mysteriously, perhaps even mischievously, replied:
“Because when we leave here, you have to do everything I tell you. Are you OK with that?”
Uh-oh. So, you’re probably thinking, that’s kind of creepy. Yeah. It is (or was).
But, let’s look at the facts, that drove me to agree with him: a) I was in a public place (and had no intention of going anywhere private); b) my friends knew where I was/who I was with/and also had his contact information; and c) … if you know me, you’ll understand that I have this adventurous/mischievous streak that sometimes overrides any sense of reason, and inevitably gets me into trouble. Albeit, it’s usually the good kind of trouble; the kind that makes for good stories.
So, feeling empowered by the 2 very strong Long Island Iced Teas compliments of Adam, we left the bar, and headed to – what I presumed – was the chocolate shop.
Walking down the street towards our destination, Adam suddenly pulls me into a random store. As we walk in, I can tell right away that this is an upscale place, and my brain is frantically trying to assess the interior to figure out WHERE THE HECK WE ARE! Giving me not time to think, Adam strides over to the saleslady and introduces himself:
“Hello, my name is Adam, and this is my wife Helen. We just got married, and we’re going on our honeymoon in Bora Bora, and we’re looking for something nice.”
Just as he is saying that, I finally clue in to our whereabouts: a luxury lingerie shop. I’ve frequented my share of lingerie shops over the years to know this was high-end: the velvet draperies, the plush carpeting, mood lighting, and the elegantly clad sales staff all spoke to that. I was stunned, but luckily, I didn’t really have a chance to ask questions because my “role” as “Adam’s wife” had begun. (I could’ve refused, of course, but how often would I get the chance to do something so crazy fun?) So, I grabbed Adam’s hand, and intertwined my fingers with his, snuggled up real close to him – like I imagined a newlywed wife would – and bashfully listened.
The sales girl – Valerie – was cheery and engaging as she led us over to their “new collection” and showed us some examples. She then turned to me, and asked: “Would you like to try something on?” to which – after silently consulting with Adam – I replied with a demure “sure”.
As Valerie set off about putting things into the dressing room for me to try on later, Adam and I wondered about the store, looking at some of the other things on sale. It turns out that this place – Kiki de Montparnasse – is not strictly a lingerie store, but also a … as the website claims it… a store for “intimate toys and seduction tools”. If you’re thinking ‘holy crap’, rest assured at that moment, I was thinking the same. But, I was ‘acting’, so I stowed my shock and awe for later.
Valerie turned up a few minutes later to announce that the change room was ready, and off I went to try on my ‘wedding night lingerie’. The first thing I did when I entered the change room was glace at the price tag: $450.00 for a slip… that’s designed to be slipped off you in 10 seconds or less. My eyes popped out of my head. But, remembering that I had a part to play, I dawned on my expensive lingerie and proceeded to admire myself in the full length mirror. Being in that moment felt pretty darn awesome; I imagine it’s what Eve felt, when on the verge of enticing Adam to take a bite of the forbidden fruit: excitement and danger.
Picture this (actually, don’t… that would make you a perv): I’m standing in the middle of a circular dressing room, enclosed by thick velvet curtains, clad only in a sheer, butt-length slip, and underwear, as my ‘husband’ awaits my reemergence. Deciding whether or not to show myself off, I had a mental conversation with myself that went something like this:
“Should I show him, or not?” followed by: “Fuck it, Helen… Go big, or go home!”
With that, I peeked from within the drapes, and motioned Adam to come in. As soon as he entered, I assailed him with: “This is just your plot to see me naked, isn’t it? To which he replied: “It was your free will to invite me in. I didn’t ask you to do that. You decided that all on your own.” (This was in fact a valid claim, and also topical, since we had had an earlier discussion about free will.) My argument was invalidated.
In short, we ended making out in the dressing room at this lingerie store. Afterwards, I got dressed and left the change room to rejoin my ‘husband’. Informing a disappointed Valerie that we wouldn’t be making a purchase today, but promising to come back later in the week, we marrily strode out of the store.
I think I might have hit Adam afterwards, for making me go through that. However, I couldn’t deny that I had thoroughly enjoyed it. We headed to our next venue…
Luckily, it turned out to be a cupcake store, where Adam bought me a sampler of mini-cupcakes that turned out to be as delicious as they looked. Once these were polished off, we finally made way to our original destination: Vosges chocolate store. Here, Adam once again proved to be a generous giver as he bought me a $27 chocolate sampler. I sampled some of the chocolate in-store, and couldn’t wait to eat more! (My love for chocolate is conditional: I will not eat it unless it’s imported, expensive and exotic, and this chocolate definitely fit the bill.)
We then exited the store, and stood on a busy New York side-walk, contemplating what to do before my dinner reservations which were still 2 hours away. That’s when Adam reminded me that I had yet to show him the dress. And so – with reckless abandon – I turned to him and announced:
“Well, why don’t we grab a bottle of wine, and go back to my hotel room, and I will try on the dress for you.” followed by a precipitous… “BUT, no FUNNY BUSINESS!!!”
I had attempted to say that in a strict yet disarming voice. With remnants of the spiked iced tea still in my bloodstream, I think I only managed disarming. But truly – as I had mentioned earlier – I had no intention of sleeping with him. However, as a close friend once said: “It just so happens that intentions, even the firmest, are easily dissolved in alcoholIt just so happens that intentions, even the firmest, are easily dissolved in alcohol.” Nevertheless, I was determined to be good.
We grabbed a cab and headed to the liquor store that I had spotted earlier, where we purchased a bottle of white wine from a stressed-looking Asian lady. (Fun fact: they can actually open bottles of wine for you in NYC… in case you don’t have a bottle opener in your hotel room. 
) With the pre-opened bottle, Adam followed me to the hotel. Once there, we had some wine and shared the chocolates purchased at Vosges. As promised, I tried on my dress for him and he agreed that it looked great on me. And, at 7:30, we parted ways, as I left to join my colleagues for supper.
Okay, Okay! That’s not ALL that happened in the hotel room. We did make out a lot, while Adele’s ‘21’ CD played in the background (Incidentally, this is probably my most romantic memory ever.)
Also, at one point, Adam kindly helped me take the dress off. And, there was some funny business. But I didn’t sleep with him… at least not in the classic definition of what that entails. 
(P.S. My real name is not actually Helen.)