Bobbing for Adam’s Apple in the Big Apple: Epilogue
I’ve told the story of my adventures in NYC to many friends (some have had the misfortune of hearing it >5 times) and in the end, everyone wants to know: “Do you still keep in touch with Adam?” This is one of the reasons that prompted me to write an Epilogue this multi-part saga.
The short answer is yes: Adam and I still communicate. But, before I get to that, let me detail the denouement with Tony the Chef.
What I failed to mention in Part 2 of this post, is that during our date, I added Tony to my Facebook. (Why, you ask? Well, what was I supposed to do when Tony was figuratively breathing down my neck as I searched for him on Facebook, with his smart phone in hand and at the ready, so he could accept my friend request right away?)
The first thing that Tony did once we were ‘Facebook Friends’ was what any self-respecting creep would do: went through my entire profile, and ‘Liked’ all of my bikini shots. Thanks, Tony. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a man who appreciates my body, but at that stage of our ‘relationship’, he was sending the wrong message. But, as you’ll see, at least his message was consistent throughout…
And truth be told, I’m used to this: i.e. guys ogling my bikini shots. A close guy friend once confessed that the first thing he does when a girl adds him to Facebook, is go through all her beach photos.
Tony and I chatted a few times via the Facebook chat. For your entertainment, here’s an excerpt of our conversations:
Tony: hi baby (: what at are you up 2
Me: going to bed in like 5 min; have to get up early to get ready for my conference
Tony: oh i thought u going to ask meet to come and meet u
Me: yeah, no
haha; sorry! I had to be ready to work tomorrow
Tony: ); when u will come again in ny
Me: Aug 2012
Tony ): no u have to come sooner
(Do I now?!)
Tony: why u dont find the same job but in ny
Me: Because I like where I live.
Seriously, I don't want to move to NY just because. Maybe in a year or 2 I will, but now right now.
Tony: you have to choose me or where u live
(well, that’s an easy choice… and that’s what I told him…)
Me: you know, I've known you for 1.5 hours. So, it's an easy choice to make.
Tony: hahahah, yea i know but i am good guy good husband for u
[…]
Me: Met any exciting people as of late?
Tony: Yea but nothing special! What about you?
Me: Nope - but that's to be expected. Good thing I'm not desperate. I figure I'll give it another 8 years then I'll start getting worried.
Tony: Oh than i can't wait for you
(Oh dear! How will I ever get on with my life?!)
Me: I hope that you weren't seriously planning on doing that!
Tony: Doing what ?
Me: waiting for me
Tony: Why not ?
Me: Because you met me for 1 hr, and I live in Canada, and don't actually have any intention of moving to NY. Or the US, for that matter.
Tony: I move to Canada
(Yes, b'y?!)
Me: Really? Well, I hope it's because you want to, and not for anyone. You are a really nice guy, but not my type. Although, I have to say, but the sound of it, girls in Canada are much nicer, so you'd probably have better luck finding someone here.
Tony: Thanks
(I won’t even start on how I feel about people who don’t believe in capitalization, punctuation, and/or substitute words with numbers.)
See what I mean about Tony being consistent? Consistently creepy. Following that final exchange, I deleted and blocked him. Gents (and Ladies too)… it is absolutely unacceptable to want to move to another country for someone you had known for 1 hour. It is not romantic. It’s a ticket to a restraining order.
On to Adam. I already mentioned that we still converse, and quite regularly at that. He continues to entertain me with his escapades; and I entertain him with mine. I’d describe our relationship as ‘friendship’; nothing more nothing less.
In fact – and I’ll withhold the corroborating details – I’m pretty sure that had we met under different circumstances (i.e. those where I was actually looking to have a relationship in New York) then it probably wouldn’t have worked out with Adam. We might not even have met.
What I take away from my debaucheries in New York is a great memory. And a friend. J
Bobbing for Adam’s Apple in the Big Apple – Part II
Before I go on, let me be clear: I was not looking to get laid in New York. All I really wanted (and I know that none of you will believe me), was to explore New York in an adventurous way, and maybe meet some cool people along the way. Back to the story...
At this point in the adventure, it was 11:45am and I had had a fruitful morning: I had a ticket to go see Mamma Mia! on Broadway, and... 2 dates lined up for the evening! Let me introduce to you, the lucky guys:
My first date was to be with Adam – a ‘startup consultant’ (whatever that means). Adam was 27 (my age) and 6’1”. His profile intrigued me (he claimed to be of Frech-Persian-Indian background) as did his initial message to me:
I just had to say ‘Hello’, otherwise I would have kicked myself later. Self inflicting pain is never fun
You not only have an interesting look but you seem like a fun & friendly person, which is rare to find in these parts. The typical lot on here are gunslingers or self-confessed alcoholics lol.
Let’s get to know each other...
Cheers,
Adam
Since I had told Adam that I was going to a Broadway show in the Theatre District at 8pm that evening, he thoughtfully recommended that we meet at 6pm at a Frech-Moroccan cafe called Marseille, located walking distance to the theatre. Over texts, it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, so I agreed to the suggested time and venue.
The second date of the night would be with Tony. After a bit of haggling over where to meet (he wanted to meet me by the hotel, and then go somewhere for a drink, whilst I kept insisting we meet at a particular venue… for obvious safety issues) he suggested a rooftop bar on 5th and 23rd. Our date was to be at 1am, because Tony was a chef and his shift didn’t end until 12:30am. It’s a good thing than in New York bars don’t close until 4am! Still, a date in NYC with some random from online is a dangerous endeavor, so I had other safety precautions planned which I’ll get into later.
Fast forward to 6pm, and I’m walking from my hotel to meet up with bar, dressed in chic white chiffon dress with a plunging v-neckline. In his profile, Adam claimed that he was 6’1” so I took a chance and wore heels. Adam got to the bar before me, and texted to let me know he was waiting (God bless men who are timely!) at the bar. I recognized him right away when I walked in, and settled into a bar stool next to his.
I will save you the details of 'he said, she said' and simply say that Adam and I really hit it off. It’s the kind of feeling that you wish you had after every date. We talked about everything and anything, yet somehow managing to avoid the formulaic date questions. Adam was good-looking, genuine and witty. My mission was off to a great start!
There are just 2 things that I’ll mention of our conversation, that are important for later on in the story. Adam recommended that I visit Vosges, a chocolate store in Soho that is owned by a Russian woman who imports & mixes exotic ingredients to make amazing chocolate. We also discovered we had a mutual appreciation for psychology, and he mentioned a lecture by a renowned English psychiatrist Raj Persaud (the lecture is: Psychology of Seduction) and offered to send me a link, which I eagerly accepted.
About half an hour before my show, Adam paid for my drinks and salad (a pleasant surprise since in Ottawa I’m hard-pressed to find a guy who’ll pay for my coffee) and walked me to my show. As we were walking, I mentioned that it was very pleasant to be in heels and still be eye level with someone, instead of towering over them. Then I had a mini-rant about how most guys in Ottawa were below the national average heigh of 5’8”. Adam nodded to acknowledge what I was saying, then pulled me in and kissed me. Twice.
Pleasantly taken aback, I mumbled a self-deprecating remark about how – if I known he was going to kiss me – I wouldn’t have ordered a blue-cheese salad for supper. To that, he tongue-in-cheekily replied that next time he’ll get me to stop at a drug store to get gum before he kisses me. Then he dropped me off at my show, wished me a good time, and departed. He followed up with a text after the show, but I didn’t pursue conversation as I was now anxiously looking forward to Date #2 with Tony. Although I couldn’t possibly imagine that it would go any better than the date with Adam.
Originally, Tony had suggested we meet at the 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar. I never actually had any intention of meeting some random dude at a bar alone in NYC. I had planned all along to convince my colleagues to go to that bar for the evening’s festivities, so they could ‘chaperone’ while I was dating Tony. However, my plan failed, when they instead ended up at a bar in Soho, and I joined them. When Tony texted at 11:30 to confirm our date, I took the opportunity to change venue. He was OK with it.
In awaiting his arrival, I prepped my colleagues of what was to come. Specifically, I asked that they stay at the bar until they were reassured that Tony wasn’t a creep. I also gave one of them is phone number. And, as a final precaution, I enabled my Google Latitude so others could see where I was at all times (although, having AGPS, that wasn’t a lot of help since at one point, I was seen in the middle of Hudson River). In any case, I felt ‘safe’ meeting up with Tony.
When he showed up (late), he seemed really nice. We grabbed a drink, sat down and got to talking. Tony seemed nice enough, but in contrast to my date with Adam, there were some awkward silences at times. The other awkward thing about Tony is how TOTALLY into me he was; to the point where I felt uncomfortable. This is probably because dudes in Ottawa are absolutely not forthcoming with how they feel about you and you have to pay cash to get a compliment, but luckily Tony made up for every guy I had ever gone on a date with, saying things like: “You are so beautiful; you look much better than in your pictures” and “I really like you. I would like to see you tomorrow” and (my personal favorite) “You should really move to New York”. As if.
So, doing my best to be non-committal, and laughing off his proposal to move to New York, I was busy mentally plotting my escape route. By 2:30am, about an hour into our date, I felt I had put in enough effort into Tony to justify leaving. To precipitate my departure, I told him that I had arranged to meet some friends at a club in the Meat Packing district and needed to be on my way (I didn't actually make that up; my friends were at a club and had suggested I meet up with them after my date was over). Clearly disappointed, Tony tried to talk me out of it, saying that he “really hoped that we could spend more time together”. I barely avoided rolling my eyes at him, whilst steadfastly repeating that I had to go. We hopped into a cab together, made out, and then he dropped me off at the bar. Resisting his pleas to join me at the bar, I said my goodbyes and went off.
My day's mission completed, I felt compeled to relax and have a good time. After all, I had another mission for next day: to convince Adam to go on a 2nd date with me. Fully commited to not thinking about that until the next day, I partied until the bars closed. At the end, there was another positive twist to the evening when my friend and I ended up getting a limo back to the hotel… for $30! But, we actually only paid $10 because we ended up sharing it with 2 guys who were headed in a completely opposite direction, so they picked up the rest of the tab. What a night!
… Part 3 of 3: “Sucks to be you”
Sucks to be me? WTF?!
Let’s collectively explore the following scenario: pretend that you’re a guy, and you’re been on a date with a girl 4-5 times, but nothing major has happened. The most you’ve done is kissed… once. You’re talking to her one day via SMS, and you find out that she’s sick, what’s your instinctive response?
Answer: _____________________________ (100 points)
When I surveyed (many) friends, the answers were fairly unanimous, ranging from verbal well-wishing (“Awww, that’s too bad. Feel better soon.”), to some sort of outward gesture of caring (i.e. offers to bring soup over.) NOT ONCE…in my informal data collection did anyone say: “I would say to her: ‘sucks to be you.’”… which is what I got from Darryl.
That statement – of which I was on the receiving end – is further exacerbated by the fact that when he was sick just a few days before, I did offer my sympathies as per societal expectations. In the end, it was just this sucky and tactless remark that did Darryl in. Once I got the “sucks to be you”, I bluntly retored: “Well, that’s rude,” then launched into a detailed list of his deficiencies leading up to the inevitable “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
However, that remark was only the final nail on the proverbial coffin. Here are some other things that Darryl did that helped prematurely (or perhaps postmaturely) end our relationship; acts that I urge both boys and girls to abstain from:
A kiss is a kiss is a kiss
… unless of course, you think it’s not. Modern society prevalently paints women as the more clingy of the sexes. But, I assure you, men can be overzealous too. At this point, I want to admit to all that I DID IT. I kissed Darryl. Once. Why? Because I wasn’t sure if we had any chemistry between us, so I wanted to see if there was a spark once our lips met. This was clearly a mistake, because ensuing conversations – which were mostly of me telling Darryl that I really only want to be friends – were met with the following question: “then why did you kiss me?”
Did I miss something here? Has there been some sort of major societal reform since the last time I had kissed a man (July 2010)? Does kissing a guy now mean that I am committing to having babies with him? I didn’t think so….
White picket fence dreams
As the name implies, it is usually the women usually make plans for the happily-ever-after (i.e. a hubby, 2 ½ kids, a dog… middle to upper-class living, etc.) Men…make plans for their fantasy football leagues. The vice versa, doesn’t happen. Or does it? Apparently so!
During one of our initial dates, I had told Darryl that I was planning on going back to school in 2 years (2012). He was cool with that… ‘cause he himself was very career minded, and wanted the same in his partner. Keep in mind here, that before the below-mentioned conversation took place, I was fresh from telling Darryl that what I wanted most was to be friends and nothing else (at least not now). Can you imagine my surprise, when the following wordy exchange took place early, one Sunday morning, as he messaged me to cancel our breakfast date, because he was sick?
Darryl: “It’s too bad that I have to cancel; I was really looking forward to seeing you.”
Me: “Oh, well… I’m not going anywhere. At least not for 2 years!” (Jokingly, referring to the fact that I’m probably going to go away for school after 2 years)
Darryl: “Oh, where are you going?”
Me: “Right now? On my way downtown to retrieve my car. I left it there last night because I had been drinking.” (I obviously understood what he meant by ‘right now’, and chose to play the dumb card.)
Darryl: “No silly. Where are you going in 2 years?”
Me: “School. Remember?”
Darryl: “Oh right. I wish I could come with you. Maybe I can come visit you..."
In case you’re wondering, yes… he was actually expressing his wish to come with me, when I went back to school 2 years from now. Failing that, he did really want to come visit... in 2 years... when I was back in school. Maybe I'm just getting my knickers in a knot, but when that exchange took place, I chose to run the other way (thought, at that point, only figuratively.)
In hindsight, I could’ve predicted that Mr. Texty-Text was a clinger. After all, during the 100 questions, he did mention a one-night stand he’d had, and along with it his righteous disappointment that she had never called him back. At that time, I was too “reserved” to point out that “isn’t that the whole point of one night stands?” Not that I would know anything about that…
And so, my time with Bachelor #4 was certainly the most memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. This experience also left me quite discouraged about dating, and so I hadn’t gone on a date since then.
I will let Randi take over the blog for the next little while, and I assure you that she’ll keep you more than entertained.
… Part 2 of 3: 100 questions to ask a man before making an emotional commitment
Before I launch into the “meaty” part of this post, I'll provide some background: In the past while, I’ve been indulging in something I like to call: introspection, extrospection, and retrospection. In layman’s term’s, it’s called self-analysis. In doing so, I noticed a somewhat disturbing trend: I tend to “emotionally commit” to a guy, before realizing that he has the sort of deal breakers that ought to make me run in the opposite direction once they are in the open. Let's define what I mean by "emotional commitment":
Emotional commitment: it is the turning point in your relationship beyond which you’re willing to fight to save the relationship rather than give up on it.
So, I began to contemplate how to unearth deal breakers of a potential mate, prior to emotionally committing to him. The difficulty herein is that – habitually – it takes time to get to know someone; it’s a gradual process. Consequently, the longer it takes to learn about someone, the greater the probability that I will have emotionally committed to that guy before the deal breakers are revealed. Let's be honest here: we only show our good sides during the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship.
Allow me to provide a concrete example of this emotional commitment problem: the last guy I dated was a smoker. I am so against smoking, that I usually don’t even consider going on a first date with a smoker. However, in this situation, the fact that he smoked was revealed on Date 2 – by then, we had already had 1 ½ great dates. Furthermore, during this 2nd date, he was convincingly adamant of his intent to quit. So, I decided to give him a chance. He never did quit, and that was definitely one of the major reasons for our breakup.
To segue [pronounced: sey-gwey or seg-wey] back to Darryl, I had come up with this emotional commitment theory shortly before going on date(s) with him. Therefore, he was the perfect guinea pig for my solution to this problem. The solution, hereby to be known as my chef d’oeuvre, is:
100 Questions to Ask a Man Before Making an Emotional Commitment
Now, administering these questions (see below) can be a tricky manner. This was especially difficult as a first instance of this exercise (which I intend to continue.) In fairness to Darryl, I warned him about it, and actually asked him to come up with 100 questions to ask me. I also was completely honest with him as to why I was doing it.
So, we did it (NO, we didn’t actually do it) across multiple dates, sitting across from one another, and firing questions at each other in a staccato manner. In hindsight, I'd say it's best to deliver these questions in a more indirect way, worked into the flow of the "get to know you" conversation. However, whatever the deliver you choose, you MUST NOT lose sight of the goal of this exercise. Therefore, I at the very least, suggest having a concrete set of questions.
DISCLAIMER: below you will find my 100 questions that I intend to ask men before making the repeatedly aforementioned “emotional commitment”. Not all of the questions are deal breakers; in fact only about 10% are, and they are cleverly disguised. If you choose to engage in a similar exercise, I urge you to do some personal reflection and figure out what questions to ask, that would reveal potential deal breakers. Without further ado... enjoy!
100 Questions to Ask a Man Before Making an Emotional Commitment.
General
- How many times have you been in love?
- What is your best characteristic?
- What is your worst characteristic (as cited by girls that have broken up with you)?
- What is the most hurtful thing someone has ever said to you?
- Have you ever been angry enough to get into a physical fight?
- Do you make friends easily?
- What are you doing now that will help you achieve your long-term goals?
- What is the best gift you’ve ever given?
- What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
- What are characteristics are you looking for in a partner? Name 5.
- What is your favorite Disney movie?
- How do you feel about PDA’s? To what extent? (i.e. hand-holding, kissing, making out, dry-humping, etc.)
- Do you like to dance?
- Would you ever take dance lessons?
- When was the last time you got piss drunk?
- Do you think you have a good sense of style?
- Favourite clothing brand & store?
- Do you like hosting parties/dinners?
- Do you play video games? If ‘yes’ how much?
- What is your “type”?
- Are you a leader or a follower?
- Does it matter what your family/friends think of the person you’re dating?
- How much do you care about others’ opinion (non just in matters of dating)?
- Do you have a best friend(s)?
- Do you like camping?
- Do you get jealous?
- Would you do “anything” for love?
- Do you watch: The Simpsons? Family Guy? Trailer Park Boys? Real Life?
- What is the worst thing you’ve ever done while in a relationship?
- Do you spit in public?
- Do you consider yourself a good driver? (i.e. do you tailgate?)
- Do you floss?
- Do you generally have good or bad breath?
- Do you go for regular physical exams?
- What is your creative outlet?
- Do you like learning new things?
- What’s your definition of compromise?
- Do you recycle/compost?
- Do you like costume parties?
- How do you feel about yourself?
- Do you consider yourself a romantic? What’s the most romantic gesture you’ve ever made?
- Which do you prefer: big spoon or small spoon?
- How many employers have you had in the last 10 years?
- Do you have a criminal record? Have you ever been arrested?
- How many girls have you lived with?
- Have you ever seen a psychiatrist/psychologist for any issues in the past?
- Have you/would you ever consider living/working in a different city and/or country?
- What is your favourite book?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- Do you believe that there’s only one person for everyone out there, or we can make it work with different people, in different ways?
- Do you ever have trouble expressing your feelings?
- What irritates you?
- What is the nicest thing someone’s ever said to you?
Family:
- Do you have a history of any diseases or illnesses in your family?
- Who is your role model?
- Are your grandparents still alive?
- How many kids do you want (ideally)?
- What’s your favourite childhood memory?
- Do you remember your when are parents’ birthdays?
- How did your parents meet?
- Do your parents ever fight?
- Do you give money to charity, or do any charitable work?
Lifestyle:
- How do you feel about health and fitness?
- Do you respond to nagging or encouragement?
- How would you describe your cleanliness: are you OCD clean? Very clean, moderately clean, or just whatever? (Explain difference between clean and tidy here. Good follow on question is: how often do you dust, clean your bathroom, sweep/vacuum)
- What does your room look like right now?
- Do you like to travel? Where would you like to travel to?
- How much do you love money? (Alternate question: what, to you, is “enough” money?)
- Do you have any savings?
- How do you feel about debt?
- Have you ever done hard drugs?
- Do you make up your bed in the morning?
- Do you clean the toilet bowl?
- Do you like the arts?
- Do you ever go to the NAC for performances; if yes, what kinds?
- Have you ever been fired from a job?
- Do you budget?
- Have you ever filed for bankruptcy? Would you ever?
- If you lost all your possessions today, how would you feel? What would you do?
Values:
- Do you believe in marriage?
- What are your feelings towards living together before marriage?
- What are your feelings towards divorce?
- How necessary is it for the person you marry to take on your last name?
- Have you ever stolen money?
- What is the most “ethical” thing you’ve ever done?
Sex-related:
- What are you thoughts towards safe sex? Have you ever had unprotected sex?
- Have you ever worn/or had the urge to wear women’s lingerie?
- Have you ever had sex (of any kind) with another man?
- Do you have any non-standards sexual fetishes?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like blowjobs?
- How many sexual partners have you had in the past?
- Hold old were you when you first had sex?
- Have you ever had a 3-some, or more?
- Have you ever gotten a girl pregnant (that you know of)?
- How often do you think is “normal” to have sex in a relationship?
- Do you watch porn?
- Have you ever paid for sex?
- Have you ever filmed a sex act which you were part of? If yes, can I see it?
- Have you ever had any STIs? Do you get tested often?
- How many one-night-stands have you had?
Bachelor #3
(This is a long awaited post, precipitated by the pressure randi is putting on me. She's eager to share her college misadventures, so I must conclude my Bachelorette series pronto!)
I couldn’t think of an adequate title for my account of date with Bachelor #3. Perhaps then, this blog post will be as memorable as the date itself was. Except that - due to laziness (I.e. not writing about it in a timely fashion) - I’ve been forced to remember the rather unmemorable details of it as I have to share dating do not’s with you.
So, let’s all recall that this was Date #2 for that day, so I was pretty tired. In addition, I had a social engagement later that night, so it was in my interest to wrap it up pretty fast. I’ll foreshadow here to say that … I didn’t really need any help to wrap up the date; its natural path must have been quite short.
I arranged to meet with Paul at a local coffee shop. He asked if he could bring his dog along, and - since we’d intended to grab a coffee and walk around the bock - I had no issues with it. Plus, I love all furry creatures!
So, date time came and went. All of it happened in 45 mins. Looking back, it almost seems that it had been on fast-forward… but maybe that’s because the dog was pulling on the leash pretty hard, and we ended up power-walking rather than strolling.
Alas, the topic of the conversation during our 45 mins together mostly stayed on Paul, Paul … and also the people Paul disliked. I have be honest, there are 2 things that really frustrate me: people who complain and those who gossip. It’s a well known fact when someone asks “Hi, how are you?” we don’t really want to know the things you tell your psychologist. Just a simple ‘good’, ‘okay’, ‘could be better’ is sufficient. If we’re interested in knowing more, we’ll ask. At least, I will. But Paul just decided to express his disappointment with everything from the tattooed chick at work, to his ex-girlfriend who lied through her teeth. All in 45 minutes! He should win an award.
But, really, he lost me at talking negatively about people he works with, and - if not there - then certainly at talking about an ex on a first date.
We parted ways after our short date. I told him I had fun… and I didn’t specify that it was fun gathering material for my blog. He messaged me 2 days later, at which point I had to break his heart. Oh well.
A picture is worth < 1000 words: how to write a great on-line profile – Part III
OK – I’ve kept you waiting long enough for the final installment of this 3-part series: my profile. A short preamble before I reveal to you my masterpiece. During the latter 5 months of my on-line presence (specifically, on PoF), I had 2 profiles: one adhered strictly to the boring suggestions by PoF – about me, about him, aspirations/goals, favourites; and a second one – which was completely “me”. The idea to write an original profile came from my friend Robert, mixed in with my affinity for writing limericks, which I’ve been doing somewhat consistently for friends’ birthdays.
For those of you who don’t know what a limerick is, here’s an excerpt from Wikipedia article on “Limerick (poetry)”… in limerick format:
A limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the cleans ones so seldom are comical
(Anonymous)
And now my profile…
A 5-part limerick
A young maiden from Ottawa once sought,
A thing that often cannot be bought.
A love so true, so rare,
More than a casual affair,
From a knight who a valiant battle had fought.
By all accounts, the maiden was very fair,
Confident, smart, with brown-reddish hair.
Her eyes green like a precious stone,
She had presence, fit for the throne,
And soft touch, that could lay your soul bare
In her match, she desired a respectful soul,
With good character, a job, and a life goal.
Funny, he should be,
And punctual to a tee;
Who sees beyond a video-games control.
Long walks on the beach are too cliché,
Perhaps a picnic in the park, or a shared sorbet!
Thoughtful acts aplenty,
For a damsel so dainty;
Perhaps, too, an occasional red-rose bouquet.
As dictate the principles of limerick-writing,
The piece aforesaid, can be more "exciting".
So the maiden - a lively coquette,
Who enjoys a lengthy romp in the bed,
Asserts that her mate she will be delighting!